Environmental Management

A proliferation of new laws creates a proliferation of new loopholes.
Cooper's Metalaw

Antipodes Islands Marine Exploitation Reserve

The South Pacific Institute of Nolledge is proposing the establishment of a 200 nautical mile radius Marine Exploitation Reserve around the Antipodes Islands.

Across the world, Natural Resources are becoming stressed and degraded by pressure from encroaching Marine Protection Reserves. A Marine Exploitation Reserve is necessary to save culturally traditional marine practises from the brink of extinction. These practises include hydrocarbon extraction, mineral exploration, long-line set-net fishing, scientific whaling, transhipment of nuclear waste, flushing of ballast tanks, urban sewage disposal, rubbish dumping, and coastal tourist development.

The Antipodes Islands Marine Exploitation Reserve site selection and design will be the subject of extensive ongoing research and developmental work by Company staff. This is aimed at ensuring that the reserve is the right size to protect appropriate species (Homo sapiens), habitats and ecosystems. An important element of the approach is to share information with local community-based franchisees of global multinational corporations on the key marine exploitonmental activities that need protection within the marine reserve.

NIMBY Acronym Guide

NIMBY: Not In My Back Yard
NOTE: Not Over There Either
BANANA: Build Absolutely Nothing Anywhere Near Anything
CAVE: Coalition Against Virtually Everything
NOPE: Not On Planet Earth

Save our Subantarctic Sites: SSSSSIs


Every summer on the Antipodes, Snares, Campbell, Auckland and Bounty Islands fragile, century-old Heritage Sites are mercilessly trampled underfoot by boatloads of jostling ecotourists and environmental monitoring teams.

The release of The Company's 900 page report: "State of the Subantarctic Environment VIII: Executive Summary" may not have contributed much to the saving of the Amazon rainforest. But on page 852 it did make a powerful case to preserve several Specific Subantarctic Scientific Sites of Special Interest (SSSSSIs) for posterity.

The Company has prioritised one particularly vulnerable SSSSSI for priority conservation. "Bean Camp" is situated in the Auckland Islands above a picturesque beach close to a penguin rookery. Although the site was occupied by geologists in only the last decade, the smouldering rubbish dumps, shallow toilet pits, scattered batteries, improvised try pots and albatross eggshell mound will provide much-needed fascinating research material for future archeologists.

Amazing though it may seem, present day industrial historians, employed by The Company on short term, non-renewable contracts, have already been able to deduce much about life at Bean Camp. The SSSSSI occupants probably feasted weekly on albatross, used partially-written CD-ROM coasters for target practice, and tried unsuccessfully to send dozens of messages in bottles to their colleague "Johnnie Walker". Furthermore, they literally did fill a wheelbarrow with their mandatory Environmental Impact Forms.

Don't sit idly by and watch misguided 21st century environmentalists plunder the SSSSSIs of their treasures and wipe them off the face of the Earth! Help protect the SSSSSIs for 25th century humanity before it's too late.